Frequently Asked Questions


Resource Links


People and schools I’ve learned from 

Institute of Somatic Sexology  – taught by Deej Juventin and Uma Ayelet Furman

Institute for the Study of Somatic Sex Education – taught by Caffyn Jesse & Dr. Liam “Captain” Snowdon 

School of Consent – taught by Dr. Betty Martin 

Urban Tantra Professional Training Program – taught by Barbara Carrellas

Reid Mihalko 

Ante Up! 

Z Griss


Somatic sex educators and other sexuality professionals whose work I admire, almost all of whom work online in addition to their in-person locations 

Sasha Lasdon in Madison, WI

Juliana Rose in Brattleboro, VT 

JoJo DeRodrigo (JoJo Bear) in Albany, CA


Alex Morgan in Oakland/SF Bay Area, CA 

Pavini Moray in San Francisco, CA 


Lists of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers and Somatic Sex Educators  


Organizations and individuals who teach group workshops

Body Trust Circle 

Cuddle Party 

Ignacio Rivera 

School of Consent 

Ashton Young in New Orleans, LA 

Urban Tantra 

Ship / The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health in Providence, RI

Pleasure Pie in Boston, MA


Boston Resources

Pleasure Pie’s list of Boston Area Sex Positive Resources including therapists

Pleasure Pie’s Boston Sex Positive Newsletter, my favorite local newsletter

Smut Slam, a monthly sexy (true) storytelling event in Somerville


Books I recommend without reservation

Science for Sexual Happiness: A Guide to Reclaiming Pleasure by Caffyn Jesse

The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin 

Pelvic Pain Clinic by Caffyn Jesse and Shauna Farabaugh 

Anal Pleasure & Health by Jack Morin 

My New Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein 

Intimacy Educator: Teaching Through Touch by Caffyn Jesse

Healers on the Edge: Somatic Sex Education edited by Cassie Moore, Caffyn Jesse, and Mehdi Darvish Yahya 

The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin 

Opening Up:A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino 

The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy 

Urban Tantra, 2nd Edition by Barbara Carrellas


Books I recommend with caveats – these are not as queer/trans/BIPOC/disability inclusive as I wish they were but have valuable information 

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski (audience is cisgender women and people who have sex with cisgender women)

Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sherri Winston (audience is cisgender women and people who have sex with cisgender women) 

Coping with Premature Ejaculation by Barry W McCarthy and Michael E Metz (heteronormative) 

Coping with Erectile Dysfunction  by Barry W McCarthy and Michael E Metz (heteronormative)  

Orgasmic Yoga by Martha Tara Lee (anti-porn; is a useful counterpoint.)


Educational resources online

Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal

The Pleasure Mechanics

Erotic Massage


Orgasmic Yoga

Erotic Engineering’s 9 Golden Keys  (cisgender men)



Sex Ed blogs, comics, and YouTubers that I feel aligned with

Oh Joy Sex Toy

Dangerous Lilly especially the section on toxic sex toys 


YouTube: UpperCaseChase 

YouTube: Sexplanations with Dr. Lindsey Doe


Complementary professionals to whom I would refer you

Massage Therapist – In Tune Massage – Becca (she/they) is a licensed massage therapist who will listen to your body and use various bodywork techniques to help guide you into a state of greater ease and freedom.  They work with clients of all genders and can accommodate a variety of accessibility needs including around mobility, chemical sensitivity, and trauma.

Acupuncturist Ece Yildirim, LAc (she/her) provides acupuncture care for menstrual complaints, hormonal balancing, preparing for pregnancy, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and general health. Her goal is to help individuals work through the physical form to find an emotional and holistic state of health.

Pelvic floor Occupational Therapist Mirah Sand, OTR/L (they/she) approaches pelvic floor therapy through a trauma-informed biopsychosocial lens, meaning that they see all bodies as connected to a vast web of multifaceted stories and contexts.

Pelvic floor physical therapists – I don’t know any local ones personally, but have heard good things about the following folks – Justine Beauchamp, DPT – accepts insurance! but does not work with penises.  Alex Papale, DPT – a nonbinary practitioner in the Back Bay neighborhood of Boston.

Dr. Shemeka Thorpe’s homepage has a link at the bottom to a list of BIPOC pelvic floor physical therapists


Therapists (I cannot guarantee availability or whether they can accept insurance)

Dr. Ruthie (they/them) in Guelph, Ontario

Aida Manduley (they/them) in Jamaica Plain, MA


Brands of sex supplies I wholeheartedly endorse (uncompensated)

Lubricants – Hathor Original Lubricant Pure, Sliquid Silk, Slippery Stuff Gel, Wet Uranus, Swiss Navy Silicone (my favorite bottle design)

Toys (whole brand unless linked to a specific toy) – nJoy, Tantus, New York Toy Collective, Aslan Leather, SpareParts HardWear, Babes N’ Horny, Le Wand , Fun Factory, Rocks Off , We-Vibe, Dame (I haven’t tried their toys, but I love their blog and the purposefully gender neutral language describing toys for folks with vulvas)


Adult product retailers that support feminist-values, identify body-safe materials, and are safer alternatives to Amazon 

SheVibe, Early To Bed, Smitten Kitten, Self Serve, Passional, Sugar  


Articles and videos on somatic sex education (more to come)

What is the Wheel of Consent? 

A series of blog posts on Elements of Embodiment for trans folks 

Why couples should learn about erotic massage and how to touch mindfully  

How and why to give an anal and rectal massage

Using Surrogate Partner Therapy in Counseling: Treatment Considerations (page 4 specifically addresses Sexological Bodywork) 

What is “interoception”?

Why not to buy sex toys from Amazon (old article, but there is no evidence that Amazon has changed their policies.  If anything, the problem of counterfeit sex toys has gotten worse over time.)