Why Sexological Bodywork/Somatic Sex Education?
Learning pleasure and sex alone can be difficult. You might feel more comfortable practicing new activities with someone guiding you through them. When guided, it’s easier to notice and change existing habits. Unlike a partner, a professional doesn’t hold sexual expectations, and you don’t need to worry about their feelings. This allows you to focus on your own experience, sensations, and learning.
Do I have to take off my clothes?
Nope. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.
Do I get to take off my clothes?
Not during the first session, but you can during later sessions if it’s relevant to your work.
Do you take off your clothes? Do I touch you?
What if I want to learn how to touch someone?
We can totally work on that! Please bring someone with you to practice on.
Do I have to do bodywork sessions or are talk/breath sessions enough?
For many people, talk/breath sessions are plenty. It depends on what you want to learn and how you learn best.
How many sessions will I need to have?
It depends on your desired change(s), your ease with the practices we choose to use, how much homework you do, and how long you’ve been living with your concern. I’m here for as many or as few sessions as you choose. Some clients completely address their needs in one session and others work with me for years.
Do I have to do homework?
Yes, to the best of your ability. Changing what you want to change takes practice.
Do I have to do everything you say? Are you an all-knowing guru? How is your work “client-centered”?
I am not a guru. Our work together does not require you to give up your agency and authority over your body and, in fact, encourages, supports, and requires your agency. I help you learn who you are and how to rely on yourself, with guidance, resources and information. You are the center of your journey towards more sexual pleasure.
How often will we meet?
It depends. Some folks have weekly sessions and others have sessions as needed. The most common choice is every 2 weeks. You don’t have to decide in advance and we can adjust it to suit you as you integrate your experiences.
How is what you do different from sex therapy and pelvic floor PT?
I have different training from therapists and pelvic floor physical therapists. Sex therapists do not do hands-on work and, though they can give you homework that works with arousal, they do not work with your arousal while you are in session. Pelvic PTs offer hands-on work and can provide education regarding arousal, but do not work directly with arousal and the emotions that arise. Somatic Sex Educators are trained to work with arousal, offer hands-on work, offer trauma-informed care, and teach you about consent as well.
How is what you offer different from neo-Tantra?
- Language-wise, what makes me different from neo-Tantra is that I don’t use, or require you to buy into, vague concepts of “energy,” me as a “sexual healer,” or “masculine/feminine energy” in order to find meaning and positive change.
- Sexological Bodywork and Tantra exist at the intersection of cultural appropriation and whitewashing with respect to a variety of Asian spiritual traditions. Although science now validates some of these practices as being useful for folks with trauma, science isn’t what makes them true or real. As another way of packaging the same knowledge, scientific language is what enables me personally to access the tools of Sexological Bodywork.
How will you address my accessibility needs?
I work with you on your specific needs to the best of my abilities. My office has two small steps to the front door and another step up inside, with no handrails. Sessions are in a room that is up a flight of stairs with handrails. With advance notice, I can set up portable ramps to the first floor for people who use wheelchairs and/or create a space to have sessions on the first floor. The first floor bathroom is wheelchair accessible, including grab bars and a roll-in shower. I use unscented laundry detergent, but use other scented cleaning products. If you need a chemical-free, scent-free environment, I can come to you after an initial online session. Although I don’t speak sign language, I invite your interpreter to be present or can use assistive technology.
Do you have parking available and/or are you T accessible?
Off-street parking is available next to my front door. It is a 7-minute bus ride from the Davis Square Red Line T Station to a bus stop that is one flat block from my office.
What is embodiment?
We are embodied when we can feel, notice and understand the sensations in our body. Embodiment is being able to locate, stay attentive to, describe, and create meaning from those sensations.
What if I’m straight or gay? Or just not attracted to you?
Our work is not about erotic connection between you and me; we work with your erotic connection with yourself. My role is to support your experience.
Is everything I tell you private?
I will respect, defend, and preserve the privacy of all information gained during instructional sessions, and preserve the anonymity of clients when using information for purposes of teaching, research, and supervision. If you want me to work collaboratively with another professional, I will ask you to sign a release form.
Anything else I need to know about your office and in-person sessions?
There are two dogs who live in the house. I can keep them in a closed room while you’re here. If you are allergic to dogs, I recommend taking allergy medication before an in-person session. The dogs stay out of the upstairs office, but their dander is present in areas that you must pass through to get to that space.